We have interviewed three birth assitants over the course of the past two weeks. My darling wife liked the attorney, I liked the one more like Mom. At least that is what we thought until we met contestant number three.
Our birth assistant likes leather!
I feel like a contestant on the dating game:
"So, contestant number one, how many deliveries have you seen?"
"About 150."
"Contestant number two, how would you handle a difficult birth?"
"I would use natural remedies."
"Contestant number three, have you ever attended an aqua birth?"
"I like to tie people up, and cruise the leather bars."
We picked her!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
The Last Minute Scramble....
Well, we are in a last minute scramble to find someone to deliver the baby!
We got a call today, (38 weeks) and were informed, the birth center may not have enough staff available to deliver Abbie. I am appalled and have been on the phone all day, trying to come up with another midwife.
The issue is few people will consider it, as even though Melissa is healthy, they would view her as a potential high risk patient, because she has not been under their care.
I may have to deliver # 8!
We got a call today, (38 weeks) and were informed, the birth center may not have enough staff available to deliver Abbie. I am appalled and have been on the phone all day, trying to come up with another midwife.
The issue is few people will consider it, as even though Melissa is healthy, they would view her as a potential high risk patient, because she has not been under their care.
I may have to deliver # 8!
The Green, Glowing Can....
Melissa is sick. She has been sick to her stomach all day. She thinks it is a precursor to labor.
I being the wonderful caretaker, set her up with a massage, a cool cloth on the back of her neck, flat gingerale, and a trash can. She finally fell asleep, and so did I.
At some point in the middle of the night I woke up and noticed a strange green light glowing from Melissa's side of the bed. I could not for the life of me get my brain to wrap around the possibilities.
Sure, I have been joking that Abigail is from another planet and she is so playful in the womb she has to be an alien. I was not counting on her sending for the mother ship at this point.
I lay awake for a long time, even got up to see what it might be. All I could see was the trash can and it was glowing green. I did not remember buying a glow in the dark can, but hey it was possible I got carried away at Target.
The next morning, the can was no longer glowing green. That night, it glowed again. I picked the can up, it stopped glowing. I put the can down, yep it glowed. I was not getting a bit concerned that there was something wrong with my mind. Melissa noticed the look on my face as I sat the can down, picked the can up and sat the can down. I noticed she noticed and found a way to stop. No, I did not explain why the can held such a deep fascination for me.
Later that night I dropped something and it rolled under the bed. As I went to retrieve it, the glowing green can was explained. There was a device, with a small green light, showing it was on, under the bed. The can, a translucent white was reflecting the light when on the floor, and stopped when picked up. The light was stronger during the night and was weak during the day.
Thank goodness I am not losing my mind.
What is that strange blue light on the ceiling?
I being the wonderful caretaker, set her up with a massage, a cool cloth on the back of her neck, flat gingerale, and a trash can. She finally fell asleep, and so did I.
At some point in the middle of the night I woke up and noticed a strange green light glowing from Melissa's side of the bed. I could not for the life of me get my brain to wrap around the possibilities.
Sure, I have been joking that Abigail is from another planet and she is so playful in the womb she has to be an alien. I was not counting on her sending for the mother ship at this point.
I lay awake for a long time, even got up to see what it might be. All I could see was the trash can and it was glowing green. I did not remember buying a glow in the dark can, but hey it was possible I got carried away at Target.
The next morning, the can was no longer glowing green. That night, it glowed again. I picked the can up, it stopped glowing. I put the can down, yep it glowed. I was not getting a bit concerned that there was something wrong with my mind. Melissa noticed the look on my face as I sat the can down, picked the can up and sat the can down. I noticed she noticed and found a way to stop. No, I did not explain why the can held such a deep fascination for me.
Later that night I dropped something and it rolled under the bed. As I went to retrieve it, the glowing green can was explained. There was a device, with a small green light, showing it was on, under the bed. The can, a translucent white was reflecting the light when on the floor, and stopped when picked up. The light was stronger during the night and was weak during the day.
Thank goodness I am not losing my mind.
What is that strange blue light on the ceiling?
Friday, October 14, 2005
Where have all the adjectives and adverbs gone?
Melissa's descriptive powers are unavailable. I am not sure if her internal server is down, or if she is just at a loss for adjectives or adverbs.
When she is asked any question requiring a descriptive, she gets a far away look in her eyes. It takes her forever to tell me how she is feeling, what she would like to eat, where she would like to eat, if she is hungry, or if there is something she needs.
I admit as a retired EMT, I am used to lots of adjectives and adverbs, thus I get frustrated during the prenatal visits, when she doesn't use them. I have even tried the EMT scale (tell me on a scale from 0-10) how hungry are you?
Some days, she even has a hard time picking a number. I can only hope it is a hormonal issue and she will regain complete use of the English language once the baby is here!
When she is asked any question requiring a descriptive, she gets a far away look in her eyes. It takes her forever to tell me how she is feeling, what she would like to eat, where she would like to eat, if she is hungry, or if there is something she needs.
I admit as a retired EMT, I am used to lots of adjectives and adverbs, thus I get frustrated during the prenatal visits, when she doesn't use them. I have even tried the EMT scale (tell me on a scale from 0-10) how hungry are you?
Some days, she even has a hard time picking a number. I can only hope it is a hormonal issue and she will regain complete use of the English language once the baby is here!
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Hunter's Pooh Bear
This is the story of a little girl named Hunter and her "Pooh Bear."
Hunter is Melissa's 23 month old niece, who along with her dad,(Melissa's brother) her mom and her Yaya (Melissa's mother) visited us over the Columbus day weekend. It was the very first time Jeff had been north of the Mason Dixon line and the first time he has visited Melissa for a weekend. His main concern was the inability to carry a gun in DC.
Anyway, I pick the family up at the airport as Melissa waits at home. The weather really is dreary and the traffic is horrible. What normally takes about 45 minutes took us almost 2 hours. There was a slight detour as I got lost. However, Hunter was smart enough to pull out an area map and try to navigate, remember she is only 23 months old and she already knows I cannot drive and talk at the same time.
We get home and Hunter has about 30 minutes out of the car seat, before we head out for dinner. We go to America's which is a loud, kid friendly place and Hunter has a blast.
The next day, we travel around the city after I return from running a couple of errands and try to go to the Air and Space museum. Well, Melissa, her mom, Jeff, Mandy and Hunter all get to see the museum, I could not find parking. I tell them to have fun and call me when they are done. I go grab a bite to eat, because I know I will not want a cold fish sandwich from McDonald's (thank you Lalla anyway).
While I am out, I pick up a small toy for Hunter and four little books, as I figured it would be a way to entertain Hunter as we drove around trying to see the monuments through the rain streaked window. Jeff and Mandy were able to see the Lincoln Memorial and a couple of other spots before it was time for dinner.
The next day, I am showing Hunter photographs on my computer and I am asking her, "who is that?" She successfully names everyone, except for me. She will not say my name, which is fine, because she has only seen me a handful of times.
It is then time for me to get ready for another baby shower. As I am standing at the top of the stairs looking down, I see Hunter and Lalla working their way up. When Hunter sees me, she suddenly yells, "Pooh Bear!" and points at me. Lalla says to Hunter, "Say Carleh." Hunter replies, "Pooh Bear."
Thus I have become Pooh bear. I confirmed this name later in the day, when I took her, Jeff and Mandy back to the airport. Hunter jumped in my arms, patted my face, said "Pooh Bear" and gave me "pisses" (which are kisses). She even sent home "pisses for Missy," which is what everyone in Melissa's family calls her.
I am perplexed as to why Hunter decided I am Pooh Bear, but ever so grateful I have a special name. The closest explanation I can offer is she has decided I am "ever so forgetful" or "not a very smart bear," as I got lost coming home from the airport.
The best explanation and the one I like the best is to her I am a "silly ole bear," as Christopher Robins would say. I am very silly with Hunter and she seems to have a good time when I am around.
I am very happy and so very blessed to be Hunter's Pooh Bear.
Hunter is Melissa's 23 month old niece, who along with her dad,(Melissa's brother) her mom and her Yaya (Melissa's mother) visited us over the Columbus day weekend. It was the very first time Jeff had been north of the Mason Dixon line and the first time he has visited Melissa for a weekend. His main concern was the inability to carry a gun in DC.
Anyway, I pick the family up at the airport as Melissa waits at home. The weather really is dreary and the traffic is horrible. What normally takes about 45 minutes took us almost 2 hours. There was a slight detour as I got lost. However, Hunter was smart enough to pull out an area map and try to navigate, remember she is only 23 months old and she already knows I cannot drive and talk at the same time.
We get home and Hunter has about 30 minutes out of the car seat, before we head out for dinner. We go to America's which is a loud, kid friendly place and Hunter has a blast.
The next day, we travel around the city after I return from running a couple of errands and try to go to the Air and Space museum. Well, Melissa, her mom, Jeff, Mandy and Hunter all get to see the museum, I could not find parking. I tell them to have fun and call me when they are done. I go grab a bite to eat, because I know I will not want a cold fish sandwich from McDonald's (thank you Lalla anyway).
While I am out, I pick up a small toy for Hunter and four little books, as I figured it would be a way to entertain Hunter as we drove around trying to see the monuments through the rain streaked window. Jeff and Mandy were able to see the Lincoln Memorial and a couple of other spots before it was time for dinner.
The next day, I am showing Hunter photographs on my computer and I am asking her, "who is that?" She successfully names everyone, except for me. She will not say my name, which is fine, because she has only seen me a handful of times.
It is then time for me to get ready for another baby shower. As I am standing at the top of the stairs looking down, I see Hunter and Lalla working their way up. When Hunter sees me, she suddenly yells, "Pooh Bear!" and points at me. Lalla says to Hunter, "Say Carleh." Hunter replies, "Pooh Bear."
Thus I have become Pooh bear. I confirmed this name later in the day, when I took her, Jeff and Mandy back to the airport. Hunter jumped in my arms, patted my face, said "Pooh Bear" and gave me "pisses" (which are kisses). She even sent home "pisses for Missy," which is what everyone in Melissa's family calls her.
I am perplexed as to why Hunter decided I am Pooh Bear, but ever so grateful I have a special name. The closest explanation I can offer is she has decided I am "ever so forgetful" or "not a very smart bear," as I got lost coming home from the airport.
The best explanation and the one I like the best is to her I am a "silly ole bear," as Christopher Robins would say. I am very silly with Hunter and she seems to have a good time when I am around.
I am very happy and so very blessed to be Hunter's Pooh Bear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)